Is seeking divinity, just an excuse for failure?
I wonder… I question it sometimes…on most days I feel I am on the right path and doing what I am meant to do and going where I am meant to go. But there are days like today-where I wonder…is my emerging thought process merely a cop out?
Why is it that things or people I considered so important, not so long ago, have ceased to matter?
Why has ambition the way that I grew up understanding it, changed its very definition?
How come I seek the things today that were, and still are to some extent, beyond my comprehension?
What is it exactly that I seek?
Is it a genetic programming that comes with motherhood? Or age?
If success to me, is setting myself free, (as opposed to the more common material perception or notion of success that the world at large understands or acknowledges) what is it exactly that I feel the need to free myself of?
Am I merely making excuses for my own failure? What is failure? or success for that matter?
How do I find God?
How do I know I’m not going crazy?
Like I said, on most days I can deal with all this doubt. But every now and then, I wonder.
Is my leaning towards the non material plane (if you can call it that!!!) just an excuse for my inability to deal with the pressures of the outside world?
Is seeking divinity just an excuse for my failure to deal with the real world?