Bollywood & Domestic Violence

Recently a facebook friend ( friend of a friend) approached me for help in a domestic violence case. Sending me photographs of a bruised and battered face. She was afraid to go to the police station alone etc & so I did what I could. Made a few calls, ensured she would be attended to immediately at the station etc etc. Told her to call me if required..

An hour later- this battered & bruised girl had changed her mind. She wanted to give the man another chance. He had begged forgiveness and she returned teary eyed to him. I let it go- domestic violence is a very tricky one. What happens between a man and a woman is something no body else knows and the heart is a funny creature…

And Recently an actress who I have worked with in the past has been in the news for a domestic violence case. She reported that her husband was beating her, and 24 hours later withdrew her complaint and went back to her husband. Once again I say  – hey its between them. Shit happens. There are children and families involved & alls well that ends well.

What I found really disturbing is how a certain section of the media (2 male reporters who i personally know & who i even argued this one out with)  went about portraying the actress who had registered this complaint against her wife beating husband as an un reasonable, hot headed, lost her marbles psycho. “Unstable is the word most commonly used.  Oh really? Yes its a word I’ve heard before.   I can bet that these journalists write ups were based entirely on interactions the MCP husband had with the media even as the abused wife chose to remain silent after withdrawing her complaint.

Its the Nirbhaya mentality isn’t it?. Where the male thinks a woman should be silent, unprotesting and unopinionated as he gets his rocks off? Soft as a flower. Voice never raised. Questions never asked. Rights never demanded. If not doesn’t she deserve to be hit, punched raped or even have steel rods shoved up her intestines? Aurat apni aukad main rahe- varna kinda attitude

Come on guys. Your not talking about some evil starlet misusing the law to get even over her failing career or the wreck of her life. Your talking about a wife, a woman, a mother, a homemaker who probably had no choice but to go to the cops with the complaint. Because sometimes the shame of public scandal is the only thing that stops these MCP’s from carrying out the same crime over and over again.

3 thoughts on “Bollywood & Domestic Violence”

  1. very interesting post, Suchitra! I totally agree with you. Questioning any victim’s mental state is the worst abuse that you can hurl at her/him. These idiots don’t deserve to be in journalism.. but oh well! Actually for so many centuries – probably 1200 years or more – since the invaders came to India and treated women as “booty”, it was in a woman’s interest to be “protected”. What anyone, including a woman can do today … one couldn’t do earlier. Say go from Delhi to Bombay is just a matter of taking a flight.. which anyone can do.. 100 years back, that wasn’t the case. So things have changed now. A society that was structured to “protect women” from top to bottom, or she could be picked up by a nawab/ruler/British agent for pleasure or booty, has to change in a matter of a few decades to let those structures down.

    Just like the earlier structures came with a certain mindset.. new structures of liberty will also come with its own set of mindsets. The problem is that this “change management’ between one state to another is not managed by anyone. It is happening on its own. Which is very difficult. So lets see.. until then we will have to deal with such crazy idiots.

  2. It was quite an interesting as well as well-written post. It is really disturbing how media question the victims. They are just in search of some spices to add to even a simple news and are not bothered about the mental condition of the victim. In my opinion, even this is a type of social harassment, especially on the women
    victims. Change in the mind-set of entire society is need of the hour.

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