…do soulmates really exist?

See I’ve been having this discussion with my girlfriends for a while. Most of the men or boys i know pooh pooh this theory of soulmates & always put it in the realm of probabilty without commiting. Like yeah its possible but at any given time there could be many potential soulmates and its upto you to pick, or that one cannot base a life on just instinct or gut feeling etc etc. But then i get back to discussing it with the girls and these are some of our doubts -mind you some are in very satisfying and committed relationships,while some are single, but the doubts still rage

1. How do you know if he/she is the one? If he/she is the one why am i not in a state of joy?

2.Is it possible to zero in on someone and deciding that they are your soulmate without them having a clue-isnt that a bit loony like picking on some gorgeous celebrity and deciding thats it for me?

3. What exactly is it that you need to work out in your present life till you arrive at the soulmate level? or should one accept that there is nothing to work out, we are perfect and wait for the soulmate to drop out of the sky?

4. Is there a cellular memory that draws us to others of a similar cellular memory so that we can then fuse together like some great scientific miracle that explodes into the world in an atombomb of love?

5. So is it just one for one?

6. If the soul is omnipresent, omnipotent and all pervading why does it feel the need for a mate?

7. Could your soulmate be of the same sex? Like is my best friend my soul mate then? Could your soulmate be of a different species then? Like your dog? Isnt it presumptous and vain to believe that only the human form has a soul?

8. Is it that human beings feel inadequate and incomplete and so need a mate to complete them? Does that necessarily have to do with our souls or our emotional financial and physical needs?

9. If we all have male and female in us should we not be able to rely on only ourselves? Like the yin and yang ardha nari, or right brain left brain theories….

10. Coming to the male female in all of us-does that mean like Shiva and Parvati? Were they the same person then?

Or were they two individuals who became one?

11. Is it possible that we are ignoring our immediate reality, refusing to accept the perfection in our lives as it exists and therfore clinging on to the notion of a soulmate ? Keep it at a level of fantasy and dream on… create a magical mystical web in our own heads and…

12. If Meera considered Krishna her soulmate without even meeting him…considering she lived in a diferent era and was married to a Rana of Jaipur(not sure about this historical fact -will have to check with my mother!) in Akbars time . She left her princely home, tired of her husbands jealousy and lack of understanding and spent her life offering Krishna’s stone idol her love and her music and finally ended her life by merging into the deity in Dwaraka

I think i can do it too- why does a soulmate have to take a human form?

I can believe Ganesha is my soulmate

the thought is making me really happy right now

and i can eat as many modaks as i like – he dosent even notice that I’m getting fat!

3 thoughts on “…do soulmates really exist?”

  1. Have you read Brida by Paulo Coelho? It would answer a lot of your questions here.

    In summary, Coelho wrote in Brida that we have not one soul- mate but many. The could be of the same sex, or be an animal. Romantic love is merely incidental to someone being your soul- mate.

    A soul mate is someone you ‘recognize’ when you meet them. You just know them; they speak to your inner being. Their words and world- view resonate with you in perfect sync.

    Yes, there are soul mates. Of course there are.

  2. Hi Suchitra! Just stumbled across your blog, and this post caught my eyes. The subject of ‘soulmate’ fascinates me a lot too. I have many questions similar to yours. Being born and brought up in a middle class family of a small town, I was programmed with quite orthodox view on love. Thank God I picked Paulo Coelho books & started understanding how broad love can be! His books like The Aleph, The Zahir, The Witch of Portobello, 11 Minutes gave me some idea of soulmate. But the best explanations on ‘soulmate’ I found so far is in the book ‘The Bridge Across Forever’ by Richard Bach. I’m including the portion, hope you don’t mind the long comment.

    ————————————

    “My question is for Leslie. How do you know when you meet your soulmate?”

    My wife looked at me splitsecond terror, lifted her microphone.

    “How do you know when you meet your soulmate?” she repeated, calm as though she did this all the time. “I didn’t know, when I met mine. It was in an elevator. ‘Going up?’ I said. ‘Yes,’ he said. Neither of us knew what those words would mean to the people we are now.

    “Four years later we got to know each other and all at once we were best friends. The more I knew him, the more I admired him, the more I thought what a truly wonderful person he is!

    “That’s a key. Look for a love-aflair that gets better with time, admiration brightening, trust that grows through storms.

    “With this one man I saw that intense intimacy and joy were possible for me. I used to think those were my own special needs, my personal signs of a soulmate. Now I think they may be everyone’s, but that we despair of finding them, we try to settle for less. How dare we ask for intimacy and joy when a lukewarm lover and mild happiness are the best we can find?

    “Yet in our hearts we know that lukewarm will turn cold; mild happiness will become a kind of nameless sadness, nagging questions: Is this the love of my life, is this all there is, is this why I’m here? In our hearts we know there must be more, and we long for the one we never found.

    “So often half a couple is trying to go up, the other half is dragging down. One walks forward, the other makes sure that for every two steps ahead they take three steps back. Better to learn happiness alone, I thought, love my friends and my cat, better wait for a soulmate who never comes than to make that dull compromise.

    “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”

    “Do you think the same way as he does,” the next person called from the audience, “do you agree on everything?”

    “Do we agree on everything,” she said. “Most times. He turns up the radio, and I find that he’s the only other person I’ve known who’s enchanted by bagpipes. He’s the only other who can sing ‘Alone Am I’ from Tubby the Tuba, word for word with me, from childhood memory.

    “Other times,” she said, “we couldn’t have started farther apart … I was a war-resister, Richard was an Air Force pilot; one man at a time for me, Richard’s only woman was many women. He was wrong both times, and so of course he changed.

    “But at the last it doesn’t matter whether we agree or not, or who’s right. What matters is what goes on between the two of us … are we always changing, are we growing and loving each other more? That’s what matters.”

    “May I add a word,” I said.

    “Of course.”

    “Things around us-houses, jobs, cars-they’re props, they’re settings for our love. The things we own, the places we live, the events of our lives: empty settings. How easy to chase after settings, and forget diamonds! The only thing that matters, at the end of a stay on earth, is how well did we love, what was the quality of our love?”

  3. I believe that each of us although in many relationships, feel inadequacy of each and inadequate in each and yearn for one that is one most fulfilling. I think that the person/being/object that offers one that provides that possibility, is one would term soul mate.

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