Love Vs Like

Ever thought about it? 

Do we have to like someone to love them? To be with them?
To plegde our lives to them?

“Like” is easy to explain-its the sum total of the characteristics a person posesses that one reacts positively and instinctively to- its a feel good factor. A reaction we have in our physical being…our  5 senses

But love… what is love then? Is it just a chemical combustible reaction we will never ever understand? Uninformed blindness? Is love then nothing but a repayment or our past karmic debts that we have no control over?

I’m not talking only about amorous love here. But something much wider and all encompassing.Do we really love or parents/spouse/ brother sister blah blah? Would we actually love them if they were not blood or societal impositions forced us to beleive that we love them regardless of how they make us feel or how they really are as people?

Why do we feel compelled to love them even after knowing and experiencing that they dont meet our expectations of the role they are supposed to define in our lives?
Is it wrong to have any expectations of any other human being at all?
How can it be called love if it brings out the worst in you? Why do we feel gui;ty about rejecting something we know is not intrinsically good for us?

They say we chose our friends but not our relatives… So is that just good or bad karma then? Like i can chose my friends but what do i  do about my…. Let me not go into any details here. My mother would get upset…ha ha ha

Maybe I’m having that time of the month-my mind is skewed by my hormones gone haywire. But still its worth a thought

Is it too pompous to say that those we love should be worthy of our love? Regardless of blood or societal impositions or just plain habit?

How can you love someone you intensely dislike?

Hamlet anyone?

OMG! will there ever be a day when my confusion ceases and clarity reigns…

I think not…for then i will die and all  art will cease.

For art is nothing but an abilty to give form to and merge the dichotomy of how an individual mind sees things differently from the way the rest of the world perceives it. Some people call it scizophrenia…me i just call it having a fun time 🙂

31 thoughts on “Love Vs Like”

  1. It is relative and is a matter of perspective.
    yo understand the true meaning of love
    you should have infinite compassion and
    an ability to see ur own self as others see should step out of your body and see
    you should also analyse why others behave
    the way you think they do.
    if you break the shell of your own ego
    you will not be bothered byany one else’s
    either! one’ own idiosyncracy defines
    one’s relationship with the external
    love always begets love.
    Many humans live inside a cocoon of
    their own making.hence this blur!

  2. Love shorn of sex is divine! unselfish love ennobles
    one.It is absolute and refined.
    liking is transitory and is mostly the
    first impression and highly subjective.
    liking carries an undertone of approval
    and flows from is devoid of ego.

  3. I have read this post over and over again and am still trying to understand what exactly your trying to say

  4. Every family unit is a complex social network influenced by numerous inputs. In nature, social organizations at the family and small-group level can range from violent to peaceful, monogamous to polyandrous, segregated to sharing work. After a particular age, relationships merge in such a way that all relationships present themselves with a degree of complexity. That’s what makes all relationships be it at home or elsewhere hovering around love, like, hate and aversion. We are made malleable for that purpose. It allows us to rise and if necessary, it allows us to fall.
    My take; we came alone in this world. During the definite period we are here, be yourself and express yourself to like, love and hate in good proportions. At an appropriate time learn to live on your own terms and alone if necessary. After all, our destiny finally leads us to leave alone. It’s the intermediate term which is a paradox.

  5. there is a tinge of ego
    in tandarin,s a social research
    it is well informed.but the inference
    and advice are open to question

  6. Dear Suchitra,

    When I say this, I mean it from the depth of my heart…

    I have been following your journey from the days when you used to be every ‘nice boy’s dream girl-next-door’, including mine (I am in my early 30s). And then you made your choices and were courages enough to live with the consequences they brought; and that too with immense dignity and effortless genuineness…truly a story of a ‘woman of substance’…

    I have always believed that the ‘greatest privilege in life is to grow up without growing cynical’. Thanks for reminding me of the fact that this saying can be lived…

    May god bless that shine in your eyes and that innocence on your face, which to me, reflects the purity of the being behind them…


  7. Very interesting post. Indian culture tends to be full of hypocricy-we are forced to love and repsect relatives
    And elders even though they are sometimes nasty to us and care only about themselves
    While prtending to do things in our interest. Ultimately its a matter of conditioning –

  8. Anonymuo
    If you think tandarins comment is tinged with ego ur comment about love without sex being
    Divine is simply ridiculous. Its exactly the hypocrisy I was talking about in my earlier comment.
    Sex is a natural expression between people-why deny basic facts of life?

  9. Suchitra
    Why Hamlet? Closer home is the Mahabharat.

    Or the Ramayan. And so why did Sita keep loving Ram even though he mistrusted her constantly? I bet nobody asked her if she likes Ram-ha ha

  10. vidhi u have not read me correctly.
    love is not to be confused with sex was
    what i is sublime in its own
    way. but obsession with it is not

  11. ram did not mistrust sita.
    he was king and sita’s role
    was over.
    ram and sita are held to be
    avatars of parvati and siva
    on earth.
    ravana was a great siva bhakta!
    mythology is subtle and should
    not be mocked at.
    it carries messages for mankind.

  12. LOVE .vs. LIKE: never leave the one you LOVE for the one you LIKE because the one you LIKE will leave you for the one they LOVE the one you LIKE will give you goosebumps; the one you LOVE will make you laugh and send shivers down your spine. When the one you LIKE cries, you feel sorry for them; but when the one you LOVE cries, you cry for them. True Love Doesnt Have A Happy Ending BECAUSE True LOVE Never Ends

  13. Love and sex are not coterminus terms.
    love is all embracing and extends all living
    organisms and also between the same
    sexes amongst humans.By this I am not
    referring to ‘gay’ness! Sex should not be
    overblown out of context.It is conditioned
    by time,capacity and inclination.By and large
    it is the mother of all sorrows.Love is a larger
    canvas and ennobling and elevating.Nothing
    to be scandalised.Only freaks of nature will
    have difficulty in giving love,although they
    may accept it shamelessly from others.

  14. Of all the comments, Mr.ananymoua’s, post on 8th June is appealing and convincing to me.We can do some research on it. quite interesting.

  15. I love my mom but I don’t like her. I’m 16 and yet to have a real relationship, so I dunno if I qualify for discussion but since you (btw, I kinda love you too *blushes*) mentioned about family members, I thought I’ll just say it. I don’t like my mom for many reasons; she really pisses me off sometimes (nay, most of the times), she also kinda embarrasses me, in fact sometimes I feel like a tiny little puppy who is carried around all day by this little girl who just don’t wanna part with it even when my eyes are like “You’re smothering me lady, gimme some effin’ space!!”. But that’s probably the difference between puppies and us. A puppy couldn’t possibly know the sole reason behind its apparent suffering : love. That’s enough for me to love her ba…. damnit! speak of the devil. Here she come with the damn milk again!

  16. Here is a song just for you Suchitra. Though you are far in thoughts and distance, a sweet smile on your face would be lovely…
    Though the song is not mine, the words are straight from my heart..
    You Only Live Twice or so it seems,
    One life for yourself and one for your dreams.
    You drift through the years and life seems tame,
    Till one dream appears and love is its name.

    And love is a stranger who’ll beckon you on,
    Don’t think of the danger or the stranger is gone. (Maybe email me!)

    This dream is for you, so pay the price.
    Make one dream come true, you only live twice.

  17. i may have to take this blog in parts….if like is 5 senses, what is love? if relatives are blood what defined it? marriage right? and marriage is a man made institution. So how can you a product of love in in institution? if you are not a product of love, how and when will you understand the simplicity of love…
    Love is not to be confused with emotions, sentiments or feelings. Love is that feel good factor immaterial of anyone else. Love is that feel good factor which can be experienced only and only when one loves oneself and all that one understands of kindness, goodness, fairness, the abiltity to offer the hand of love, genorosity of good will, and comfort to life itself. Loving oneself is being all that you like, dislikes and disgust are hatreds that is karmic or learnt, needs are cravings that are karmic or learnt, and ignorance is our biggest battle. Love is a detached emotion, which knows no life form, no greed, no expectations, no judgement, it is just a feeling to be shared with mutual respect.

  18. And as for sex, it is a basic quality or ability that all living forms are granted, for reproduction of the species, either in the asexual or sexual form. To those humans who enjoy sex in its purity with no guilt, kudos, to those who enjoy sex but are caught up in the guilt of social sanction and emotions, wake up and smell the coffee. To those who detest sex in its existential form, a caution…. detest is the form of vibration that you have chosen to attract. To those who are still in quest or confusion, grow up and release the power of the beyond of the base chakra of oral, anal and sexual needs.
    When the quest ends, sex is no longer a need, greed, or aversion it is but only the 5 senses… smell, sound, touch, sight and taste. Move into the higher dimension of release, into the heart chakra and above…… life is incredulously beautiful ))))

  19. kaundinya, forgive me my ignorance, but whether a Rama who asked Sita for the agnipariksha for her purity of existence, or a Krishna who was the most loving child and lover, who dictated the Mahabharath war as a solution to emotional crisis within a family, duty and responsibilites ie dharma and karma, they were Vishnu avatars…… not Shiv/Shiva avatars…….
    Brahma/Saraswati… pure creator consciousness,
    Vishnu/Lakshmi material and human avatars,
    Shiv/Shiva the male/female powers, co experimentors in the game called life and the destructors of all evil in themselves, glorious in their individual unity of existence is my limited knowledge of mythology, which has helped me in my personal graph of life, to overcome my personal ignorance and stupidity

  20. Dear Brahmacon I am fully aware that Rama is one
    of the ten Avatars.If you care to know there is
    another school which believes that Parvati was
    rama since shiva did not wish to kill his own baktha
    Ravan!If u care u can find out from scholars.
    your contribution makes interesting reading.
    in souls there is no male or female!

  21. Life is unfaithful, one day it will leave you
    Death is a lover, it will take you with it
    The one who will teach the world how to live after dying
    That’s a lover, Suchitra!

    I accept that this world holds sorrow;
    On every step there is a new chain of tears
    But the one who sings songs when days of happiness come
    That’s pure love, Suchitra!

  22. therefore suchitra
    sorrowing is waste sheer
    alive let each day be cheer
    when death comes near
    love it is let’s be clear
    wondering what is love!

  23. Take the flames that are burning in my heart or give it high hope
    The one who is worthy of it, give him your love
    What is in your heart just let me be aware of that much
    That now on my own the journey seems never ending, what shall i do


    You have heard this song before, you just don’t know when and where!

  24. When one path ended, another joined up with it
    whenever I turned, the path bent with me
    my home is on the wings of the wind

    the day held my hand and called me here
    the night beckoned and called me there
    night and day are now my only friends

    Will you be my friend forever, Suchitra?

  25. I couldn’t see anything written in your blog for past few months.
    Hope you are fine with good health and cheers.

    Would like to hear you back soon.

  26. to love someone.. to like someone.. to have any kind of feeling for someone.. its difficult to say why this happens.. but i suppose, we love or like someone because they have been good to us or because they have some qualities which we admire or simply because they love or like us..
    even in the movies, villains are sometimes liked, even though they are wrong doers, because we found something in them likeable.. similarly, those whom we love, may have many drawbacks, but we still love them because we love them..
    like you said.. there will always be a confusion between love and like.. but it doesn’t matter as long as the person you love or like is with you..

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