What has touched me the most in the last few days -ever since the false accusation in the child labour case -is the immense support i have received from my family friends and neighbours and everybody else.
Non stop calls asking me if I’m okay,if i need any help, friends voluntering to take Kaveri out for a pizza so i can recover from the sudden high fever that came on due to stress and relax a bit, parents taking over the task of doing her studies( her first terms are on) neighbours dropping in with husbands and sons in tow asking me to give them a shout should the need arise and sending me food and treats, NGO’s calling up to ask if i need them to publically vouch for me, my old maid calling me from abroad(where she took up a job last year) to ask me if I am okay and that she’s coming back to India in december so i shoudlnt worry-“you tell them I am 50!!-why are they saying such bad things about you?”? 🙂
I feel blessed. For all the goodness i have accumulated in my life. I also feel strong. Stronger than I have ever felt in my life though in a different way
And grateful for all the lovely women who offered me food and comfort and the strong powerful men around me who made me feel I’m not alone and they are just a phone call away and could change even change government policy should the need arise!
I told them not to worry and that I’m okay.Because for the first time in my life i felt i could handle it myself. For all the impression of me as a suffragette and a libber that many people have-if there’s anything i miss the most in my life its the strength of a protective masculine arm around me. First it was my daddy who looked after everything and then my husband and now…this incident in a way was a test. And I am happy i have passed
Most of my male friends have been asking me why I didnt react with more agression or anger. Why i didnt take the labour ministry or the NGO to task. Why i let it go so easy. They are so angry on my behalf its a bit overwhelming- but sweet. I feel better and grateful for the male energy that protects me.
But my only answer to that is “Because I’m a woman” I have tried it your way for centuries and i know it dosent work
And because i dont beleive in agression. I no longer beleive in reacting in anger. I have done that -in the way prescribed by you in the past and the only person thats been hurt with my anger is me and the whole world around me. Anger leads to war. Who wants that?
As a woman and a mother i just want to lead a regular dignified life and look after my child to the best of my ability and create an enviornment of love and goodness and peace and honesty. I dont want jhadga-i want shanti-i want khushi
ANd though I am not able to exercise these lofty ideals always-I make an effort. Because i beleive it will triumph. If my non agressive stance is misundersttod my some cynics I think its okay-becaue i believe like the bible says that “the meek will inherit the earth”.
Only because the agressive would have all killed each other in the meantime and that maybe a time worth waiting for
Actually aggression is a relative thing too. Its expressed differently
The most aggressive thing i can do is to write a poem or a blog or make an evocative painting. I beleive its equally if not more effective
And i find that a better alternative. Because a womans intrinsic nature is to create and not destroy and i try to tap into the primordial force. With every setback with every adversity i will create more and more-be it music, literature , art and what not.
And you know what-I love how powerful that makes me feel
“because I’m a woman”