Yup one more scandal- I’ve been ignoring it the last few days but now I cant help reacting so i have to blog about it. Because a friend who is an ex neighbour of the supposed rapist has been calling me up & filling me in on all the gup.I’m talking about the Shiney Ahuja scandal. Actor rapes maid and lands in jail.
So here’s the story. Man /Actor rapes maid when wife and kid are out of town…Gross! but whats so new. Its not the first time something so disgusting has happened and i doubt it will be the last. In the far east maids asking for extra headache money, over and above their salary is a common phenomena. What is headache money some of you may ask? Its the money for sexual services provided when the wife has a headache! Or is out of town…
So coming back to the actor rapes maid scandal -Shiney says it was consensual-thats another story as old as the hills too -maybe its even true. If it was consensual why did the maid go to the cops? She obviously felt violated or betrayed in some way which made her take this extreme stand-had he promised her some money or a loan perhaps and did he not live up to his promise? Whatever the truth-if Shiney is innocent my heart goes out to the man. He should be given a fair chance
If he is not innocent, he deserves the most severe punishment for it. Its time society at large took a stand to protect women who are out there working their butts off to feed their families and earn a living-they should be allowed to be free of humiliating sexual attention and overtures. Unless its consensual and there is no monetary or proffessional gain involved
What is also interesting and at the same time commonplace is the stand of Anu-Shineys wife. My heart felt condolences for a woman and a mother to have to bear the brunt of a scandal so demeaning. Its commendable that she has decided to stand by her man publically…again whats new. Women in love are known to think with their hearts and not their heads. I also think that in love there are no rights or wrongs-everybody must do whatever they think appropriate to save and nurture their relationships or themselves. I know women who have put up with tremendous violence and infidelty and still found a way to find love at the end of the darkened tunnel. Whatever tags society gave these wives or whatever reasons like greed or insecurity they were accused of for giving in to their husbands indiscretions, they put up with it with a dignity and resilience, their focus remaining solely on nurturing and raising their children.
Greed and insecurity or whatever one wants to call it is as valid a reason to stay on in a relationship as love or anything else-because love means different things to different people. Ultimately its a choice-and wagging tongues and society should never impose on individual choice. Especially when they are at their most vulnerable
The most interesting in this whole thing is what i read in the mid day today-Pooja Bedi’s advice to Shineys wife Anu. Pooja advices Anu to not make hasty decisions and cites the example of Aditya Panscholi raping her 15 year old maid 20 years ago. It was a scandal that had hit the headlines too and has stayed in people’s minds.In that instance Pooja says she made the choice to dump Aditya right there and then because she cannot and will not tolerate an unfaithful man. She adds that infidelty for her is a no no and so after that incident she decided to not be with a man who was unfaithful to her.
I would like to raise a point here-why did Pooja forget to mention that 20 years ago when Aditya Panscholi was her ‘beau’ he was already a married man-married to a lovely lady named Zarina Wahab? For Pooja infidelty towards herself was unacceptable . Was it because Aditya raped a maid who she considered of a different social strata and therefore demeaning to her?- Because she seems to have had no problem with Aditya being unfaithful to his wife then…What kind of warped mentality and double standard is this? Dosent infidelty apply on all grounds to all parties concerned? Interesting to note that aditya’s marraige to Zarina has survived. No maid or sexy actress could break it up
Did Pooja have to go and call Adnan Sami’s wife insane when she caught her reclining on her couch with her husbands head on her lap? As a woman who has been through the trauma of a broken marraige did Pooja not understand the pain the wife was going through?
I have been called mentally unstable too, when i decided to take a stance on my marraige and speak up and stand up for myself. I know the cunning and malice such accusations hail from and the double standards of women and men who hurl them. Abetted by their partners in crime no doubt- ie the cheating spouse
In that instance too, during the Adnan Sami scandal, celebrities were tripping over themselves giving the wife advice.In Anu Ahuja’s case it is no different.
Me says leave the poor woman alone. Love /marraige is between two people -they alone have the right to decide if its going to last or its time for it to end.
Its a painful time for the Ahuja’s and while i wish that truth prevails I also wish the Ahuja family peace and happiness.
And yes peace and healing to the maid too. In all this hullaballoo lets not forget who the real victim here is-till proved otherwise