Can a girl and a boy be good friends without sex coming in the way every now and then? I used to think it was possible and had some great buddies-male. Hung out with them, shared secrets with them and chatted into the night like i did with my girlfriends…
But recently something changed. and now I’m confused all over again.
Like with this great friend of mine-lets call him X- he dropped in at my studio like he has done a million times before over the years. Only this time it was different. He stood in my path, grabbed and held me and wouldnt let me go till i was almost suffocating. I tried my best to wriggle out of his grasp but could not-I pride myself on being pretty strong but my strenght that day was of no use. Now he’s the mildest and most decent guy on this planet -as I’ve known him over the years ,but still i found myself afraid and shocked that day.
Later after the madness of the moment had passed we discussed it. He told me he could not help the way he felt about me and was very attracted to me. I told him I’m not and he should respect that. That i felt betrayed by a friend I’ve known for fifteen years turning on me like that. Nothing had changed except the fact that I was now single… and I was aghast that he saw me differently all of a sudden. Would he have dared to do that while i was still married or had a man’s name attached to me? So what was the great friendship we talked and chatted about over the years? Was it just sex waiting to happen from his side? Now we dont talk or meet each other any more. I miss my friend and i want my friendship back… but… C’est la vie
The other day at Holi-I was dancing. A husband of a friend of mine whispered into my ear “Are you trying to turn me on?” Now he’s an ugly toad and i was shocked at his gall and his ludicrous outdated notion that a woman dancing by herself is doing it for reasons other than the sheer fun and freedom of it. But i kept dancing anyway- I was enjoying myself way too much and his wife is a sweetie so i could forgive him his nonsense. If he was getting turned on it was his problem-nothing to do with me or my behaviour.
Many of my girlfriends have told me similar things. Of boys they considered buddies and good friends suddenly turning on them, hitting on them, sending them horny suggestive sms’s out of the blue and then pretending nothing has happened the next time they meet. I’m not talking about it happening in the work place-that is something different alltogether . This is with friends one has known and trusted for a long period of time
I refuse to beleive in the chiche that all men think of sex most of the time and having it is only a matter of opportunity. Its as incongrous as saying all women love jewelry… or it it?