Identity Crisis…
Hmnnn….Uuh…I’m a…
I do…Hmnnn…
I’m a…..
I must confess its much better than before. I remember, many years ago, being constantly asked “So, what does your father do? & then many years later “And, what does your husband do?”
Now I’m asked “So you are a singer? actress? painter? poet? blogger? (yes, that’s become an official profession, almost) And now… Writer? ”
My job profile is difficult to explain. I’ve never thought of any of the things i do as a job so… on different days I say different things.
And then they say “Phew! Oh…ok…cool! Multitasking aanh? Well so you must have a lot of fun? What next? Do you plan to get into jewelry design? Or interiors? Women really have a flair for that kind of thing you know. But how do you manage? I mean, must be hard…
The tone is often patronizing. On most days I can ignore it, on some days it pisses me off. “A girl like you… ( accompanied by a gaze staring furtively at body parts, neck down ) needs a nice guy to look after her. You can’t be alone you know…”
“Ofcourse Romeo. I get you totally. Hows the wife? Give her my regards”
To make it easier, when I am forced to put a label on what I do, I call myself an artist…because that’s the only word I can use to describe myself. Artist. And Mother. When I want to be vain and am having a ‘low self esteem’ or ‘bad hair’ or ‘fat’ day I describe myself as pop diva, or film star or some such thing.
People and my friends in India, kind of know what I do(I have been in the public eye on and off since I was 15) but to strangers its harder to explain so I don’t bother.
I remember an incident in London early this year. A friend of mine wanted to catch up with this really nice intelligent educated Indian guy she knew very well and that I HAD to meet. But at the last minute (I had already reached the venue) she called to say that she was held up and couldn’t make it. So I ended up having tea with him all alone.
We were at a cafe in Chelsea & he had just finished boasting about all the great things he had recently accomplished. Multimillion dollar mergers and acquisitions, dining with the Prince, blah blah. He said my friend had told him all about me and who I am and how happy he was to meet me.
He then asked me what I am currently busy with. I told him I am writing a book.
He smiled kindly
“Acting,singing, painting and now writing? That’s great. What kind of book?
“You know, just a book. About things I know”
“Oh ok. Is it autobiographical?”
“Uh Huh. Sort of”
I could see a gleam entering his eye. “Great. I hope you’re going to reveal all. Everything. Don’t leave out anything and don’t be shy. Is there going to be a chapter on….”
“On what?” I was wary. He was a friend of a friend (I still curse her for setting me up on this hideous date-she later confessed that he was looking to meet a homely Indian girl!) but still a stranger to me
“Oh come-on. You know who I am talking about? You know, the whole scandal thing…I read about it everyday in the papers sitting here in London. You are famous!”
Yeah right -whatever. But still i replied “No No. This is not that kind of book. It’s based on my childhood, growing up in a very interactive Co-operative housing society in Mumbai. Kid stuff really.”
“You mean a childrens book?” He sipped his tea and leaned forward some more. The smile got broader and kinder” Oh you’ll be great at that. I can so totally imagine you doing that. A childrens book…like…a little girl sitting with her doll and saying…where is my pudding? You turn the page and it goes ‘where is my pudding? And the little girl is getting all angry, and her mouth is opened really wide and she says again, I demand to know where is my pudding?…nice! Are you going to be doing the illustrations too??”
I was rather shocked at his impression of the kind of book I would write. “Well, its not a ‘where is my pudding’ kind of book. It’s for the young reader as well as the adult. It’s a series actually, the Swapnalok Society series, and…the first book in the series is called ‘The Summer of Cool’
It explores the typical ethos of life in middle class urban India. As seen through the eyes of a ten year old girl in search of her father”
“Uh…ok. Want to come over to my place for dinner later?”
“Its my baby sitters night off so I’ll have to take my daughter along where ever I go. If that okay with you…”
“Uh uh” The broad kind smile disappeared “My house is not very child friendly. She could get hurt…and i just remembered I have this important conference call to take tonight. May go on for hours…” He paid the bill -wouldnt accept the notion of going dutch.
“thanks for the tea”
“My pleasure. Ofcourse if the baby sitter situation changes tonight give me a call… and; oh Yeah. Good luck with the book. Summer of Cool huh? Kewl!!”
As we left the café I was feeling a bit upset. Upset that i had been set up on a date with a jerk, confused about who I am and all the things i do and everything else. The ‘Main kaun hoon -kahan hoon’ syndrome.
The final nail in the coffin of my identity crisis was struck when I overheard him talking into his phone as he got into his cab. He thought i was out of earshot “Yeah. Sweet girl…you know who she is right? Shekhar Kapur’s ex wife…”
!!!!!!!!!!!!
:-0 :-0 :-0
))))))))))))))))))))))))
[...] Vote Identity Crisis… [...]
Was so funny fell down reading. Yeah i guess all women with their multi tasking and most often not being taken seriously often wonder who they are. The ,”Where’s my pudding”, so so funny, men are like that only. They’ll say, ” ya we understand u need to find yourself.” Very easy and lovely reading a serious debate tackled in such a light vein. Loved – identity crisis.
hey Suchitra,
I used to follow your blog on intentblog and waited for you to post.. and now this is even better – only your posts
… i love reading about your life and how you cope with stuff…
I think you have bad luck when it comes to guys – you seem to meet the creepiest guys possible…. though I must confess I find these stories amusing but I am sure these episodes would leave you disappointed to say the least… but hang in there girl – and don’t give up on men completely.. There are some wonderful men out there… Don’t take me wrong – I truly believe that a woman doesn’t need a man to live a fulfilling life but a great life partner is god’s blessing…
I wish you luck..
Keep posting…
Manasi..
Actually this is pretty much a unisex phenomenon…men are asked the same questions as often..maybe the answers are a bit different.
I am itching for the day when I can answer (while keeping a straight face) – “well, I am just living off my ill-gotten wealth!!” – but then, I suspect the satire might just be lost on a large majority of people.:-)
fortunately or unfortunately… my earliest recall in my life… my only identlty crisis….was WHO AM I? where did i come from? what am i doing here? where am i going? for the life of me i couldnt relate to myself as an identity that needed to do something to exist or prove points… and blatant honest truth… i always did… my self worth came from what I did or didnt do, from the pat on my back unfortunately… thank god! i found my answers… i choose to break out of the web, the chakravyuh … that we spiritual souls….in the human experience have woven for ourselves… i now choose to believe… that i am indeed a spritual body, blessed with free will, that I made the choice to be born, i chose my channels of birth and i chose to resolve the learnings over time and space and over lifetimes, that i chose to resolve. I no longer feel like a puppet on someone elses strings. i relish my power of being blessed with free will. I come from immense faith in my creator! i choose to fly light, i choose to break out of the karma drama and walk a path of peace harmony joy and kindness and not thrusting my will on anyone else not even myself….I have found my identity… I acknowledge that I am God! and so is every other soul… we are empowered to … maybe… one degree lesser than the creator who created us!… I chose not to leave a comment and then i did )))) no offense intended to any God!
Well, you are a known face, I can imagine some callous men behaving such way, similar stuff happens to us all the time…. the world’s a dirty place for women who want to be independent!!!
Hi suchitra
You’ve hit the nail on the head. I think most men have a problem dealing with intelligent and independant women. It seems to make them very uncomforatble. And most women pretend to be dumb because it makes life easier for them.
Glad you are opting for another route
I think it is easy to acknowledge, that the world has a lot wrong it, for each of us simply project ourselves into the situation of the other (i.e. what would I do, if I was doing several things, if I was her..) and then conclude that it is not something we would do. The trick is to acknowledge that the other person is projecting.. and the world can be seen in a very different light. Suchitra, if the style of blog writing is something to go by, (though I am biased, as I have not read many blogs).. I look forward to your book.
warmth on a cold winter morning.
Dear Suchita
I admire the way you have used good humour to tackle an important and serious issue
i do beleive men have identity crisis too-but it is a bit different
in women the identity crisis is mainly vis a vis the men in their life. And child bearing then takes it to a different plane all together. But that is nature
Ever heard of a man being in conflict between being a father and his career?
Also the whole notion of what is masculine and feminine in confusing now for people on this planet.
what is a woman supposed to feel like and behave like? and what is the man to do?
maybe its ime to embrace that the masculine and feminine exist in all of us
masculine-aggression, control, need to provide, logical
feminine- caring sensitive nurturer intiutive
Also you of all the people should not bother about being perceived as anybodys wife or exwife
those who know you and appreciate what is real and what is good will never be as glamour struck and idiotic as the people you seem to be constantly meeting.
there is no shortage of creeps in the world. You have a choice to stay away from them. Probably it is your own vulnerabilty(for whatever reasons) that you ae inviting this
i look forward o reading your book.
it sounds intelligen…like my name! wish you a very happy and successful 2009
My first thought! Correct me if I am wrong but isnt this a very “Indian Guy Phenomenon” to hand out respect to a woman in proportion to the what dad/husband does in life and what their identities are! I have intentionally not said Boyfriend/lover here as that’s not acceptable in our thoroghly morally depraved society!
I am currently dating a Non-Indian guy and he has never felt the need to ask me what/who/where/why type of questions! What i volunteer abt myself is enough informaton for him almost all the time! Extremly non-intrusive behavior which kind of shocked me at the start! My initial doubts were that maybe this guy is not really interested in me as he does not ask me so many questions with regards to my identity or family or Dad or work ! But over the past few months I have realised that he does feel the need to compulsively ask me a million questions and summarise myself in 500 words over 2 cups of coffee at the nearest coffee hub!
Whereas my experience with Indian Men (read boys! ) has been that they really need to be handed an autobiography or atleast a filled in questionnaire basis which they will decide if the woman is any good to be around or associate with. And the questions will never be “whats the one place u want to travel” but more like “Does ur Dad approve of blah blah blah” or “What does ur dad think abt it?!” or “Will you work if ur husband does not want a working wife!”…Hello! U are supposed to ask me my views not my dad’s /husband’s maybe!
All said and done its easy to get the opposite sex to drive us around for all errands, buy us expensive dinners, survive shopping sprees but “earning their respect” by just virtue of being “just self” is that much more complicated! And I am happy to have experienced it and the feeling is “worth a million bucks if not more”!
Thank you for this post! Welcome back to the world wide web! We have missed you!
Sorry I got carried away with the ranting! I had every intention of first congratulating you!
CONGRATULATIONS!! PROST !! PROST!! for the book!
Please do share details as to when it will be available in the stores ? Also When and where is the book reading?
Good Luck!
lol where is my pudding?
what was he thinking.
looking fwd to the release of your book. When is it out in the stores?
Hi ,
I am totally with Scout on the ‘Indian syndrome’. I think its more so with Indians that their identity is very much bound up with the national,familial,societal value system passed down through the ages. Its hard to imagine that liberation comes at a price and unfortunately any change has to go through questioning the status quo and seeking one’s own values which in modern day is harder and yet imperative than ever. Its moving too much out of the comfort zone and is not every person’s cup of tea!! So its easier to slip into the well defined values of the ‘Indian male Syndrome’ of well categorised seeking of partners. No surprise there.
As an avant garde Aquarian I see new frontiers of being and questioning the way things are and possiblities of how they can be. Else cultural stagnation ensues. So well done and do not worry about those men & women. They will continue to exist and loose out on the subtleties of living a evolved life. Good Luck with your book.
That’s an interesting tale! Society is what makes your identity as somebody’s wife / husband etc etc! Get out of those spheres and you find your identity being rather independent! First time here. Will frequent more often.
This is maybe the first time I will be honest abt certain things. Reading this post i realized that i have the luxury to be anonymous and at the same time confess some stuff.
I want to ask you one question though before i start? Do average men see u as something to be taken care of and possessed or because of ur default popular status and ur creative accomplishments put u automatically in a safety zone? Because after reading ur post it struck me that we are all on similar boats except ur boat is in more secure safer waters while most of our boats are on rough high seas around the cape of no hope!
I always believed that once u carve ur niche in the workplace and society you are less prone to male advances. I work in a regular job and the only people who know me and my name are my friends, work colleagues and my building watchman. So i wld call myself the average-jane-next door.
I have done quite well for myself in the past few years because my focus was to get into the safety zone. My work entails me to meet a lot of people and smile my way through a lot of their nonsense. As compared to other women in the workplace I feel Being attractive, a female, a sharp mind, great physical assets no doubt has paved the path a little easier and also gives me a far higher chance of getting things done.
Maybe it sounds shameless that I use my sexuality as a currency to get all I want. Most women would call this “slut/bitch” behavior but its really an advantage as thats the only currency that works with Indian men. It is not only restricted to the bollywood arena but it happens even in a cement & construction office. And before anyone of you comment on my depravity let me assure you that I can sleep peacefully at night and I have no guilt trips and my soul is intact. I am happy. in fact very happy.
Mantras to be happy in India if you are a working female.
-The best way to move up in the corporate ladder is to keep morality at home
-Even if you have the brains to outshine any male moron NEVER ever show it
- Pretend to feel all helpless and dependent coz that makes “The Man” feel more secure around you.
-VALIDATE as much as you can any man’s presence in ur life. Dont treat him as an equal. Always validate how important he is and how much more focused and sorted out he is and what a brilliant mind he has and all that B-shit. Men are so insecure abt their own identities that they need constant validation. They want to be told my their mothers, neighbours even dog if possible how superior they are.
- If ur wondering what good the above will make and its all wrong to lie and if u r suffering from “feminism” in any way trust me try it out once and what do u have to lose anyway. chances are you will never have to do any work on ur own and even ur dry cleaning will be picked up by someone who feels you are too helpless to do it on your own ?
Even if u manage to find ur identity WHAT WILL U DO WITH IT?
Scout finch says
Mantras to be happy in India if you are a working female.
-The best way to move up in the corporate ladder is to keep morality at home
-Even if you have the brains to outshine any male moron NEVER ever show it
- Pretend to feel all helpless and dependent coz that makes “The Man” feel more secure around you.
-VALIDATE as much as you can any man’s presence in ur life. Dont treat him as an equal. Always validate how important he is and how much more focused and sorted out he is and what a brilliant mind he has and all that B-shit. Men are so insecure abt their own identities that they need constant validation. They want to be told my their mothers, neighbours even dog if possible how superior they are.
THE SITUATION IS GRAVE…
scoutfinch says
“slut/bitch” behavior but its really an advantage as thats the only currency that works with Indian men”
why only indian? Why not from the rest of the world. Not fair .They’ll feel bad
all peoples have identity crisis. to feel validation and create name.
even men
if everybody felt content and didnt strive for more we would have nothing to do and life would become very boring. this struggle keeps us alive
xena says
“slut/bitch” behavior but its really an advantage as thats the only currency that works with Indian men”
Mantras to be happy in India if you are a working female.
-The best way to move up in the corporate ladder is to keep morality at home
-Even if you have the brains to outshine any male moron NEVER ever show it
- Pretend to feel all helpless and dependent coz that makes “The Man” feel more secure around you.
-VALIDATE as much as you can any man’s presence in ur life. Dont treat him as an equal. Always validate how important he is and how much more focused and sorted out he is and what a brilliant mind he has and all that B-shit. Men are so insecure abt their own identities that they need constant validation. They want to be told my their mothers, neighbours even dog if possible how superior they are.
i wrote scoutfinch says in my2 earlier comments by mistake
xena
well said
“that we spiritual souls….in the human experience have woven for ourselves… i now choose to believe… that i am indeed a spritual body, blessed with free will, that I made the choice to be born, i chose my channels of birth and i chose to resolve the learnings over time and space and over lifetimes, that i chose to resolve. I no longer feel like a puppet on someone elses strings. i relish my power of being blessed with free will. I come from immense faith in my creator! i choose to fly light, i choose to break out of the karma drama and walk a path of peace harmony joy and kindness and not thrusting my will on anyone else not even myself….I have found my identity… I acknowledge that I am God! and so is every other soul… we are empowered to … maybe… one degree lesser than the creator who created us!… I chose not to leave a comment and then i did )))) no offense intended to any God!”
beautiful sujata. if only everybody could think like you
but till we do we must all struggle to find ourslves or god or whatever you wish to call identity
Suchitra everybody experiences what you have written about. Nobody talks about it thats all. i am happy tha someone is and that too in such a playful way
Identity crisis is what leads many people to rise above the prescription of life that they are handed out and asked to follow. do this do that eat this eat that. it seems that from the time wer are of age everybody already has a notion of that the other should become and are uncomfortable when somebody is of independant thought.
would budha have emerged if he was not questioning his original role of king? had he not run away from the palace to find his answers after many years of suffering
my favourite scene in from the film guide when dev anand reaches the light… the most powerful scene in indian cinema
Therefore even in our own lives we never know where we are headed and what we are ultimately meant to become. It is perhaps not success or greatness in the material way you imagined but of a diffent kind altogethr. Life is a journey enjoy it. sometimes it seems painful but that pain will lead you towards your final freedom. That is the truth for all human beings
I don’t think that women should give so much of importance to identity and consider it a great blunder and insult when they are being referred as so and so’s daughter, wife or ex wife etc..It is a matter of fact and legal relationship that has given the identity to you. Even when the mothers are famous,the sons are referred as so and so’s son.It depends upon the context and the nature of the people gathered there.Kaveri will definitely be introduced to her maternal relatives as Suchitra’s daughter only.Only when she establishes herself in what ever she does and proves her identity in her achievements, she will have an individual identity.Even a man is being introduced as so and so’s husband if he accompanies her where she is invited.The feminist approach to every thing and anything to suit their own convenience is not easily understandable.Though I am also a person who believes in my own individual identity I don’t think I have any ‘crisis’ regarding my identity.It is a matter of fact identity when women play different roles at different times.It is upto you to assert it and claim it. Sheer defying and craving don’t help.
I appreciate your style of writing.Even a serious topic like ‘identity crisis’is dealt in such a lively and light manner, it really enthuses anyone to read it.I wish I can write like you. Keep it up.
Hi Manasi
Thanx for writng in. I do remember yur comments on my posts on intentblog. Its wonderful to be able to interact with you again
Hi intelligent, simplysid, RB and spiritual
Thanx for visiting my site and keep writing in. Your feedback on my posts means a lot to me
Dear Alli Rani. Thank you for writing in and your valuable and mature insights on topics i have posted on. This is exactly the kind of interaction one needs on a blog to create an online community to share thoughts views interests and a few laughs too
Hi scout finch
Welcome to my blog. I hope you keep sharing your wonderful and forthright thoughts with us. I look forward to that
Hi Xena
Such honesty? I applaud you for that. Keep going. Its a rare trait. I’m glad the anonmity of the internet is provoking your candour. Rock on girl!
Hi suchitra
we all know you as a great singer talented actress and very a beautiful lady. Whatever your personal choices you have left a great impression in evry thing you have done -right from the time of your television serial Chunauti -and shown great moral courage and charactor in how you have handled situations. An example to follow for all women in our evolving society
I am sure this identity crisis is temporary from the humerous way in whach you have written it.
I look forward to the release of your book. Can you please share details on when it is releasing?
Dear Suchitra, Though I deplore the attitude of your date, as a male, I would like to pitch in a few words to all the comments. A lot of guys in India are programmed by their parents, especially by their mothers, on what constitutes a good partner and what are the prerequisites for a good relationship or alliance.
A lack of the freedom available in the western society, conditions the minds of a lot of indian males into searching for certain ingredients of a recipe or a formula if you will, for a good relationship. Add to that the flavors of you being a celebrity who is not only famous but also good looking, It is most likely to confuse the hell out of a lot of sane guys!!
Please don’t read too much into the shallowness of individuals, not just males, that you meet. Continue to shine through and be yourself. most importantly, keep your sense of humor.
Take care,
with regards
Rama.
Hi,
This is the first time I have visited your Blog. I believe life is too short to constrain yourself. I am glad you have the opportunity to explore your talents in different fronts. I admire and respect you for it.
“Identity Crisis” is a debatable topic. For me, I personally think every person needs to have their own Identity and that would not mean that you would need to surpass or prove to better than your spouse, your friend, your family or anybody around you. “Identity”, I pursue it as inviduality of recognistion. One might be refered to as a Son/daughter of X , wife/husband of X, Friend of X but all what matters is, what kinda impression you leave on a person. I think as humans we all descend , inherit identity from our birth. Its our persceptions, views, actions that “identify” us as a person. It is a Process to create “Identity” doesnot happen overnight! I think there is a FINE LINE between “Identity” and “Egoism”. I have often seen people, in the process of creating their “Identity” turn to be “Egoistic” in accepting and being open to their counterparts views and persceptions.
This is the first time, I have ever written a comment on a blog.
I hope I was able to pen down my thoughts the right way.
Dear Suchitra, Though I deplore the attitude of your date, as a male, I would like to pitch in a few words to all the comments. A lot of guys in India are programmed by their parents, especially by their mothers, on what constitutes a good partner and what are the prerequisites for a good relationship or alliance.
at the cost of sounding supercilious… may i ask … excuse me… do u exist? with an identity… with your core truth of what you want…. or do you view yourself as this good son, this good man, this good…whatever…..trapped in childhood, trapped in relationships… one question…. if you believed that you were your own god…. one with the creator…would you ever find the need to apologise for who you are… or to please someone else with ur untruth? sure if you are happy with what you have compromised on…. will you ever take charge of your own life knowing fully well that you are on a solo flight…??? cross my heart and hope to die…. no offense intended….
Scout finch says
Mantras to be happy in India if you are a working female.
-The best way to move up in the corporate ladder is to keep morality at home
-Even if you have the brains to outshine any male moron NEVER ever show it
- Pretend to feel all helpless and dependent coz that makes “The Man” feel more secure around you.
-VALIDATE as much as you can any man’s presence in ur life. Dont treat him as an equal. Always validate how important he is and how much more focused and sorted out he is and what a brilliant mind he has and all that B-shit. Men are so insecure abt their own identities that they need constant validation. They want to be told my their mothers, neighbours even dog if possible how superior they are.
good for you girl… your honesty… ur thoughts your reality… may all women who wish to depend on the male for existence and validation… go for it! and for women who cant fit this bill.. there is hope… just be yourself from your core truth with no compromise or guilt…. and go for it… we are all spiritual souls in the human existence…. what man? what woman?
“Identity Crisis” is a debatable topic. For me, I personally think every person needs to have their own Identity and that would not mean that you would need to surpass or prove to better than your spouse, your friend, your family or anybody around you. “Identity”, I pursue it as inviduality of recognistion. One might be refered to as a Son/daughter of X , wife/husband of X, Friend of X but all what matters is, what kinda impression you leave on a person. I think as humans we all descend , inherit identity from our birth. Its our persceptions, views, actions that “identify” us as a person. It is a Process to create “Identity” doesnot happen overnight! I think there is a FINE LINE between “Identity” and “Egoism”. I have often seen people, in the process of creating their “Identity” turn to be “Egoistic” in accepting and being open to their counterparts views and persceptions.
sweetheart… i agree with you … you inherit identity from your birth ))) because you as the sipritual being chose to be born… willing to accept that? it is certainly not about proving points… not even to yourself… my gyan lol…. find your journey …marriage, caste creed religion relationships is but a man made institution…. find urself … lets presume your journey was meant to be an orphan… whom would or could you blame for whatever )))))) or you were born into a family … and are a spinster…. or you were married and a widow/widower…. or divorced or whatever…. ego is the one factor we all hang on to… lol
hi
I was wondering where you had disappeared. I was so very enjoying your posts on intentblog. So i googled and figured out that you have moved.
Nice post. keep going. Will buy your book. Curious to read about Haldi auntie.
say hi to sunita , sujata and your mom
love
dipti
Hi Suchitra,
Read the articles and could find that the reasonings and explanations could be a reflection of your past, but the comments which I read for men and women are all not that right.
Identity Crisis ?
I am going through some thing which you have already gone through, I have gone through some of the comments. I would like to say only one thing that I agree that ladies do go through a lot, but at times seeing my sad story I feel that even men could be ladies at times. I have a 3+ year old daughter whom i have brought up, put her off to sleep, yet went to office without sleep while my other half used to sleep to glory. Apart from breast feeding which I could not possibly do, I was the one who used to make milk for her and feed her off to sleep.
I do agree to the fact the women today could be the ones in the weak link, but not always. There are men such as me who cry for their child and for her not being there with him.
You have a daughter Kaveri and I bet you love her the most today, but she is there with you. I on the other side have a daughter who is not with there with her as I lost her in the legal battle as she was less than 5 and my ex so as to make my life miserable did not part away. Though when we were together she did not leave a chance to say that both of us were a misery to her.
Where do I search for my identity ?
there is no need for an identity crisis. we must be happy with what we have. expectations lead to dissapointment and humans are greedy. birds and animals are happy with who they are and what they have. why cannot we learn from them
Hi Suchitra,
Have you thought of writing jingles which all at any age group could like, a short comedy which could bring a smile to each face which reads it, nothing saddening.
As to your biography .. I am sure if one day you wish to write would be inspirational and not saddening. An artistic person such as you, some thing to bring tears – nah not you.
Your smile in your Blog sums it all.
Take care
moneycantbuylove: I agree but you should read : ‘I think I finally understand men’… ‘Even Animals get what they want’.
Nature has its ways .. just that God made Humans a bit more intelligent and with a hunger for more.
But to be self contented is reaching a stage of ‘Moksha’. If you reach that stage, there is nothing in this world that you would desire.
Easy in words but hard to achieve. But an endeavor could be made.
no need for an identity crisis. You are a rock star
Identity crisis is not really a crisis. It is like a postal address.
Neither man nor woman should feel affected by it.whichever
party is better known normally gives one the identity,initially.
Therafter you are on your own.If you have talents,jobs or
careers of your own,you establish that yourself.
There has to be some initial identity.
That is all.
The crisis is all mental and subjective.
No one can take away your importance.
relax.
Dear Suchitra,
It’s a beautifully written, loud and an honest post!
Claps!!!
You are an inspiration to all indian women
if we could do even one or two of the things you do… forget this temorary identity crisis
keep rocking
I agree with you that this particular person had no idea what he or you were talking about!
But it will be difficult if you argue that everybody should know the “real you” even before they even get a chance to discover you!
Yes, many may know who you are as you want them to know. But it may take years of effort to teach someone to think in that way! And by this time, you may already be understanding that, even after living with a person for so many years – you were not successful in making him understand the real you. May be he was also not successful in his efforts!
Yes, many may get the idea – who you are from the media – your publicized social profile. It may not be what you think you are! It is what – portrayed in the media. As an artist mainly belongs to the stardom, many also enjoy this image. It may be difficult to create another image in the mind of a common man. But one should understand that majority in this world are very common – and the other one is very rare to find! (there are only two choices now – lower your standard or leave the idea of finding the other one)
I am still hopeful! I will still say if you really need someone, you should try again and again until you find the right one – there can be many surprises! And surprises can happen from unexpected corners – so no preconceived notions or any expectations about any persons – Also don’t expect that he or she will be of the same wavelength as yours! At least you may find someone one day who may understand you as you want him or her to. Even after that, never expect for the perfect one – there should be a lot of adjustments – from both sides – and the willingness to accept a person as he or she is! Life is funny – as always!
Hey Suchitra,
All men are not alike. The Indian society as a whole is not open to such scenarios. I’m glad the fool in London is in London doing Mergers and Acquisitions because he should stick to that.
My fiance is a single mother with a 4 yr old son. We will be married in May. Although, i’m in the US and she is in India it wasn’t easy to convince my parents about my decision.Overall , we have a wonderful relationship and have had loads of fun together. I consider the little as my own. Oh and by the way when i’m around the nanny is not allowed because i take care of the little one.
Again, as i said in a reply to one of your previous posts men and women are alike in a lot ways. While men might balk at your scenario i’m sure lot of women would do the same if they had to meet a single guy with a kid too.
I admire your strength to take a shot at life on your own terms and conditions. And I’m glad to see women are standing up . My fiance is a Country Manager of a small firm and i’m proud of what she has achieved.
Not all men are jerks. Lot of us are good brothers, fathers and husbands too
Regards,
Abhishek
Hello! Just had to leave a comment. I really enjoyed your post. Keep up the good effort.